Open House, dead animals, and the first day of school

Soooo...I wrote this last night. And then I realized how hot and tired I was and then I gave up. Don't worry...I will finish the story that I started yesterday. And I also inserted a few random pictures because NOBODY likes to read a big ol' post with no pictures, am I right? ;)

Yesterday's writing:
The first day of school is tomorrow. May I just say, "AKCAKCKACKCKCKACKCKCAKCCK!!!"


Side story:
Tonight was Open House where parents and students get to come in and me their teacher and drop off school supplies...in the heat. I've mentioned before that our school's not air conditioned, right? Anywhooo...we were to compensate ourselves 2 hours for the 2 hours of overtime tonight. So I decide to waddle drive myself through McyD's for lunch and head home to let Guinea Pig out as a nice relief from the burning incinerator that is my workplace. I gobble down my chicken nuggets and fries in the car thinking, "You can totally make it through this. You will not die from heat exhaustion. Second graders will not notice the sweat dripping down your lower back, upper thighs, temples, upper lip, stomach, neck, or armpits."


I arrive home and Guinea greets me at the door tail wagging. I decide to get dressed in dressier clothes first and then take her on a teeny tiny walk. (No use getting sweaty at home before getting sweaty at work.) We walk slowly. Remember, I said the goal was to not get sweaty. We walk by


Random picture #1: Ollie on his birthday in April after eating spaghetti and cupcakes. Yum! Oh, how I love that man!

Today's writing:
I will finish the above started story. :)

We walk by the house we walked by yesterday that has a half mutilated bird wing in its garden. (Don't ask me why.) I start to pull on her leash thinking, "Oh no you don't lady!" but she doesn't even make a move for it. Instead she walks over to another part of their garden and scoops something up in her mouth.

"What was it Mary?" you may be asking.

I didn't know, but I figured it was something disgusting or precious. Those are the only real things she puts in her mouth...disgusting things or things that are precious to you (e.g. Ollie's blanket).

It was a bird. A dead one. :( Only Miss Secretive Snout wasn't going to let me see that. She kept firm hold on that baby and wouldn't let go even after we walked back to the house. She kept her mouth shut and looked at me innocently expecting me to open the door so she could unleash her prized possession all over my carpet. Only I was smart...well...smarter than her anyway. I tethered her up outside, went in and got a treat, and came back out to make a trade. Good thing too, because it was icky. Seriously.

Poor bird.

And poor Mary. Guess who was sweaty before Open House even started? This girl.

Guess who was dripping sweat afterwards? This girl. :P

The first day of school was today. Good thing you're not at my house right now, because I smell. Bad. Have I mentioned we don't have air conditioning? Have I? Have I mentioned I sweat more than anyone I know?

The first day was a first day...I will spare you the details and, instead, leave you with my top 3 worst most challenging moments of the day.

1. I gave a quiz to my second graders with questions about myself...just for fun. ;) One of the questions was to write down how old I am. One kiddo guessed 52. When I revealed my true age of 29 he blurts out, "Well, you look a LOT older than that!"

2. While talking to a little girl at lunch who was in my class last year she tells me, "Mrs. Tank...you look really...hot." Perhaps my wet hair and used football pad aroma were giving me away.

3. The button popped off my capris in the bathroom after school. *sigh*

This could be a long year.

I've decided the only positive spin I can put on the beginning of the year is that perhaps I will sweat off some weight. Perhaps.

Oh, and to go along with the "dead animal" title, Aaron told me today that there was something in his shoe this morning when he put it on for work. He stepped in it and it felt full and squishy. So he took it off.

It was a bat.

Now dead, of course, due to stepping in it and squishing it. :P Yuck.


Random picture #2: Ollie at 2 months old...smiling away after he had spit up and peed all over his mama.

So there you have it. A few days of Open House, dead animals, and the first day of school. I'm praying for cooler weather...or a good samaritan who will install air conditioning in my classroom by 8 AM tomorrow morning. I'll leave it open to interpretation as to which I'd prefer. 

Positive thought for tomorrow:
I was not shot in the face with glue today. How bad could this year be?
Yes, this really happened to me. On my first day of teaching EVER. Someday, when I am not so sweaty and fragrant, I will tell you about it.