I look out the window...rain. Aw, poop. No park. So we decide to venture to Target instead. I look down and decide to change out of my ripped, faded, sleeve-cutoff t-shirt thinking the Target clientele may ask me to leave and point me in the direction of the nearest Wal-Mart. (That wasn't a very nice comment, and I actually shop at Wal-Mart a lot. Ah, well.)
Target Adventure:
We buy:
pink toenail polish
new capris for Mary (which I didn't try on and now will have to return. *sigh*)
garlic bread
1 Viola! Garlic Chicken meal
new undies for Mary (hey, when you need 'em, you need 'em)\
1 box of diapers
As you can tell, we have no real purpose at Target and are wandering. That's ok though. That's what good Target trips are all about. :)
We go through the check-out lane and run into the parent of one of my former students. Good thing I changed my shirt, right? As I slide my card through the slot I think, "Good job limiting your spending to under $100. Aaron will be proud." All of a sudden I hear a deafening BOOM! The check out lady looks at me and says it must be REALLY raining now. Great.
Ollie and I stroll to the exit. Yes, it's raining. Except it's more than raining. It's pouring. Except it's more than pouring. It's pounding rain. Except it's more than pounding rain. Part of the Pacific Ocean had been released directly above Target in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
A big crowd is around the door. They are waiting. Waiting for the poor suckers they sent to the car to come pick them up at the door. I have no poor sucker with me today and think, "How bad could it be to get a little wet?" Ollie and I decide to run to the car...which we parked a ways away in a sad attempt to burn more calories so I can eat a few more cookies when I get home. (Sad, but true.)
Umm...I may have already eaten a few.
Ollie and I proceed to run through the Pacific Ocean to the car. (And by "run" I mean I run while Ollie rides in the cart along with our goodies. P.S. I ain't real fast.)
"Good thing I have layered my t-shirts," I think as mine have transformed into a second skin. By the time we reach the car we are sopping...Ollie's nigh-nigh (blanket) included.
Did I mention this is when the hail starts to come down? This is when the hail starts to come down. Kinda hard. Ollie looks at me with eyes widened. Mama Mary takes over and snatches him out of the cart and throws him into his carseat. Carseat...crap. Must. Strap. Ollie. In. Carseat.
For those of you who aren't yet parents, carseats are fabulous inventions that prevent precious cargo and one must strap precious cargo into it carefully each and every time while the grown-up's butt and back stick straight out the side of your car. Fantastic. I wrestle with the straps as quickly as I can while Ollie looks at me with disgust. I am dripping in his face.
Rain is now dripping through my 2 t-shirts, jeans, and undergarments. My feet are standing in water up to my ankles.
I toss the goodies into the car and slam the door. I jump in the front seat, panting. This is ridiculous. We look insane. Like drown rats. I decide to document our ridiculous-ness by taking this nice snapshot with my phone.
Note the hair slathered to my happy face. *sigh*
We wait in the parking lot for 5 minutes for the hail to stop. The cart that I carelessly left outside my car has now washed up against my car. Poop. Must move cart. Pacific Ocean is still falling upon the poor people of
Target.
I open the door to move the cart. Water over my ankles. Decide to leave it and risk scratching car. At this point, I. Don't. Care.
We FINALLY make it home and are freezing!
We decide to take a picture to document our awesome Target adventure.
Don't mind our sloppy-one-handed camera shot. We were cold and wet and hopeful that our next Target adventure will end a little better. :)
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